Tag Archives: positive approach

Anger May Be Cathartic, But It Is Still Bad For You

Cancer, Fear, Health and Wellness, Reason, , , , ,

Being honest about our emotions is not always easy. Add a chronic or terminal illness into the mix and things always seem to get tougher. Sadness, self-pity (or loathing), denial, depression and, of course, our friend Anger, all come out to play.

Emotions can bubble up unexpectedly, violently, or simmer beneath the surface. They can trip a person up, derail a perfectly calm and pleasant morning, confuse everybody in the room and change just about any dynamic without a glimmer of grace or sense of appropriate timing. Emotions run counter to that thread of logic that many of us cling to for sanity, bubbling and popping and roiling all over our bodies like some adolescent’s acne. Yet, quite unlike the exquisite release of a properly ripe whitehead, venting our emotions can be done in decent company and in a healthy, scar-free manner — as long as anger does not get the upper hand.

The first thing to realize is that we are not fully in control of how we feel. We can work on our frame of mind constantly, quite successfully, and still not be 100% in charge.

Continue reading Anger May Be Cathartic, But It Is Still Bad For You →

Changing the Narrative Through Language

Politics, Reason, , , , , , , , , ,

In conversation with my mother, we began talking, as we often do, about politics. She related to me a story about how at a dinner party recently the topic of Ted Cruz came up and how he was receiving support from some of the more conservative members of the dinner party. One of the things that they raised as a positive issue was his opposition to gay marriage, in spite of the fact that, apparently, there were several gay or lesbian friends at this party. That alone seemed pretty uncool, but tact isn’t the point here. My mother’s response was that it isn’t the place of the government to police lifestyle options or the choice of homosexuals to publicly live that way. This is where I put the breaks on the conversation. Lifestyle options and choice are not matters that truly, empirically figure into the equation of whether homosexual, transgender or bisexual individuals are deserving of the same rights and privileges of their sexually straight counterparts, by which I mean fellow citizens. These words are linguistic tools that actually hamper the progress of our understanding by being misleading and, ultimately serve to enforce the stereotypes that the Far Right uses to suppress rights of individuals. As long as the narrative remains unchanged, progress does not occur. Continue reading Changing the Narrative Through Language →

The Chemo Diaries Round Five: Egg Counting

Cancer, Health and Wellness, , , , , , ,

It’s that old adage of counting them before they are hatched. That’s probably what I should have been considering yesterday, one might suggest, because I did go out running around as though everything were back to normal. Not entirely, of course, but enough; so today, which is the fifth day of my fifth round, I woke extra wiped out. Although to say that I “woke” that way is being kind of generous. Really, I simply had not slept. Continue reading The Chemo Diaries Round Five: Egg Counting →

The Chemo Diaries Round Five: Hiccups in the System

Cancer, Health and Wellness, , , , , , ,

Side Effects and Annoyances

It only took about fifteen minutes for the hiccups to begin. By the time I sat in the car and turned on the ignition, I could feel them coming on. But the good news was they only lasted a few minutes and by the time I had pulled out of the parking structure after my infusion, they were all but gone. Hiccups are an odd addition to my routine over the past month or so, and they really came on strong the week after Round Four, though I had all but forgotten about them since. After returning from the infusion this time, they only popped up a few times, as though to remind me that I shouldn’t be complacent about the effects of the chemotherapy, even though I generally feel just fine on infusion days. Continue reading The Chemo Diaries Round Five: Hiccups in the System →

Guilt of the Patient

Cancer, Fear, Health and Wellness, Reason, , , , , ,

Genuinely, I sometimes wonder when I hear stories of other cancer patients who are suffering so much worse than me with their treatments, whether I should feel guilty about how well I appear to be doing, comparatively. It is an irrational reaction, of course, as I am not responsible for how other people respond to their chosen treatments, nor do I have any level of control over their physical health either before or after their cancer was discovered. Yet it pains me to hear these stories and realize that there is so little I can offer to ease the suffering.

In many of these cases, the patient remains upbeat, even happy, throughout the story. Tougher than I, these characters. Stronger of will, because they endure more by choice, determined to lick their adversary. And lick it they shall, because these are cancers that, even far along, can now be cured or, more practically speaking, be diminished to the point of near eradication. And this, in spite of the heavier toll paid for the intense beat down of the chemo cocktail, makes me feel a little jealous. And that jealousy makes me feel guilty, too.

And then along comes my friend, Carlos. A refuge from El Salvador, Carlos came to California with the hope of finding some treatment for his leukemia. He is a slight fellow, but only on the outside.
Continue reading Guilt of the Patient →

Survival Rate Statistics and What They Don’t Tell You

Cancer, Health and Wellness, Reason, , , , , , , , , ,

The other day I was having a discussion and it came to light that statistics had been bandied about quite early in my post-diagnostic journey. Now, I’m no stranger to statistics, but odds are that, whether you realize it or not, most of you are. That is not to say you have never heard any quoted or identified yourselves among some figure cited here or there… The truth is, one way or another, we are all statistics. And that means, well, virtually nothing. Moreover, even if one out of ten of us understands that even if the median reader gave up two sentences ago and clicked off this page, some readers will actually read most or maybe even all of what I am typing up here, this understanding is still only a basic understanding of a type of statistical qualifier and hardly bridges the gap between acquaintance and friend.

Which is all just a very wordy way of saying that statistics should only be read when one is prepared to interpret them, and while interpreting them it is important to remember that they often cannot highlight a “truth” without refined analysis. Such is the case with the statistical survival rates of adenocarcinoma, my particular flavor of cancer.

By the time I had received my diagnosis, Continue reading Survival Rate Statistics and What They Don’t Tell You →

February 2015 Video Update

Cancer, Health and Wellness, , , , , ,

Here is a quick video I threw together this morning so that you can see my general physical appearance after passing the halfway mark on my current treatment schedule.  No, my beard was already that gray… However, I’ll admit, my face does look a little “fuller” than it did this time last year. This isn’t a beauty contest, Folks!

Maximizing Your Cancer Benefits

Cancer, Health and Wellness, , , , , , , ,

While it may seem oxymoronic to use the term “benefits” in conjunction with a cancer diagnosis, the fact is that there are going to be some options that open to the cancer patient and ways to take advantage of them which might not be immediately obvious. And the best way to maximize these benefits, of course, begins with an early diagnosis. Just like everything cancer related, the earlier the diagnosis the better, though no matter how late the diagnosis comes it will always be better than an even later one.

Because cancers tend to move at varied rates, it is important to know whether a cancer is of the slow and steady variety or if it particularly aggressive. The options available for an aggressive cancer are naturally slimmer, largely because that cancer needs to be attacked right away. But this can, in its own way, be liberating. When our set of choices is reduced to the bare minimum, it frees us up to focus on other things. There is somehow, amazingly, less to worry about. I do A or B, it works or it doesn’t. There is no waiting or wasting time, just getting into action and rolling with it.

And focusing, then, on what really matters. Continue reading Maximizing Your Cancer Benefits →

The “C” Card and When To Play It

Cancer, Health and Wellness, , , , , , ,

There is an old saying that we must “play the hand we’re dealt.” It’s a poker reference, of course, though it is relevant to non-gamblers, too. The gist of the message is that we need to adapt to our circumstances and use the resources that are available to us. But there is a hidden message, too, which the card sharps among us might already have gleaned. Kenny Rogers famously sang that “you’ve got to know when to hold ’em.” But what he didn’t really get to in that song was knowing when to play the cards you have.

Don’t be afraid to play the cards you have. Continue reading The “C” Card and When To Play It →

Cancer: What You Think It Is May Be Just Bad For You

Cancer, Health and Wellness, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Cancer Is Not Intelligent, Cancer Has No Will

Discussing cancer in general terms often leads to insinuations that Cancer has a motivation. It “overcomes” the immune system. It “figures out” how to defeat a drug. It “is surprisingly good at mutating” into something that can continue to grow in spite of whatever is attacking it. It is “nefarious.” All of these descriptions, and there are hundreds more, imply that Cancer wants something, that it is making an effort, that it has an agenda or goal; the implication is that Cancer has a mind. This is a fallacy of thought that not only makes general discussion more difficult, but it actually can impede treatment and healing. Continue reading Cancer: What You Think It Is May Be Just Bad For You →