Tag Archives: Cancer

Denial Is a Dirty Word (and just bad for you)

People have been talking to me a lot lately (and not surprisingly) about the power of positive thinking. These tidbits of wisdom have come from medical professionals and laymen alike. And it is true, positive thinking is quite useful. On the other hand, it does not mean ignoring the facts or believing that everything will work out without taking appropriate action. Without a hefty dose of pragmatism in the mix, putting on a sunny face and ignoring the reality of a situation is just another form of denial, and denial leads down a dark and dangerous road.
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Going In: Better To Go Facing Forward

Today will be my second biopsy. This one, targeting soft tissue which can hopefully be used to extrude good DNA samples of the nefarious cells, will involve the removal of a lymph node from the side of my esophagus. It is a fairly routine, minor surgery, and I am excited to get it taken care of.

It also means that I get to pause with the tests for a while! And though I might miss getting that peek inside from each new scan, I am sure that I will have plenty of more opportunist in the near future. So I’ve got that going for me.
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Getting from Point A to Point B, More Fun than Being Stuck at A

There is a lot to be said for knowing where you are going. And even if you can’t know the destination, at least knowing the path you are on.

When I first began wondering what was going on with my health, I suspected that I was merely dealing with fallout from a steroid treatment that I had taken for a shoulder injury. The steroids had left me wiped out and susceptible to whatever viruses my daughter was bringing home from school…and I spent several weeks fighting off whatever respiratory illness had dripped in my lap. Once the “colds” began clearing up, I had a few small infections that seemed to persist in my nose and finger. At that point, no one suspected that the nose infection was actually a weird little ingrown hair, but I was getting more concerned that the shortness of breath I had begun to experience was a result of walking pneumonia. The initial diagnosis was a probable systemic staph infection, but I was sent for a chest X-ray just to be on the safe side.

And that was when I suddenly no longer had an obvious path.

The X-ray identified a 3cm mass

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Negativity is Positively Not in Your Best Interest

I had a few other titles for this post sliding around in my brain. After getting up and down to move the cat out of my daughter’s bedroom a few times, this is the only one that had stuck, so I’m going to go with it in spite of the cheesy wordplay. Partly, that is because it is also an accurate summation of my perspective.

Today is November 7th, 2014. It’s a Friday. And it is a good day.

Yesterday, after three-odd months of waiting and questions and test after test, I finally received a diagnosis from  my doctor regarding why I haven’t been feeling precisely top-drawer recently. It turns out that, in general terms, I have Stage 4 Lung Cancer. More specifically, I have Adenocarcinoma, which is a non-small cell form of lung cancer, and it has spread from the 3 odd centimeter mass in my left lung to a few lymph nodes and eventually down to my hip bone. And I am so thankful to have this diagnosis. Not because I am pleased to “have cancer,” which would be kind of perverse, but because now I know what I am dealing with and I can get on with it.
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