I’ve gotten a lot of good advice from well-informed people over the past few months. And I mean that. As I have discussed the factors of my cancer with peers, a lot of truly interesting and promising information has come out. Of course, there has been a lot of well-intentioned advice that has come around, too, without any of what I would call “proper vetting.” While I appreciate all of the advice, because it truly appears to be heartfelt and sincere, I’ll admit to it causing an overload of research. This is especially true of the well-intentioned variety, which I separate from the well-informed not so much based on the desire to help as by the ability to be helpful. Continue reading Well Intentioned Advice, Generally Speaking Ain’t So Grand
Tag Archives: adenocarcinoma
The Chemo Diaries: Prologue
Today the results of my gene sequencing were the topic of discussion with my favorite oncologist. We had hoped that a specifically identifiable mutation would have shown up, qualifying me for targeted therapy, but in the generally disappointing fashion of Things That Don’t Go Your Way, none such mutations came to the party. Not that they were invited in the first place, since I have a tendency to leave the Truly Annoying and Unwelcome off the list, but when there is a fifty/fifty chance that your unwanted guest will be easier to evict, you do find yourself hoping for that loophole. Or at least I did. But really, fifty/fifty is a flip of the coin, and I got tails.
So I am going to start the more traditional chemo. This is inconvenient for a number of reasons. I mean, I will have to be on a strict schedule for, well, possibly the rest of my life, or at least as long as the benefits outweigh the risks (as my doctor put it with appropriate bluntness and a smile). Of course, travel plans will be difficult. And the prospect of being tired or nauseous for up to a third of my life seems kind of stupid. But wait: others have walked this road successfully before me. The path is well worn. While the annoyance factor is way up, is it really so bad?
We all have crappy things to face in life, but that doesn’t make it any less worth living. Not to be crass, but at least I wasn’t hit by a bus or infected with Ebola far from medical help. Sure, those things are occasionally survivable, but my thing has an industry devoted to keeping me alive and a growing number of survival stories each year. So sign me up for treatment. Sign me up for my the week drip. I’ve got good veins (the doc said so, again with that smile).
Rejecting Research Is Never a Good Option
As a person living with cancer, I get suggestions all the time to look at non-medical treatments. By this, I mean mainly nutritional or holistic approaches that are meant to directly replace the use of “Western” medicine. Each suggestion comes with an anecdotal reference to someone who was “cured” by these methods, which range from the clearly bizarre to sensible health choices. Digging deeper, of course, reveals that every verifiable success story includes the use of early surgery or extensive chemo and radiation therapies.
And none of them, so far, have applied directly to my particular brand of cancer.
It doesn’t bother me so much to
Wartime Bad, Peace Good
We all have our daily battles. For me, these often have included little things, like holding my shit together while my daughter danced in front of the mirror instead of getting dressed for school or brushing her teeth. Lately, my battles have expanded to getting a deep breath after climbing the stairs, or getting up from a chair. Or just standing in a corner, leaning against a wall. Thankfully, that sort of battle is still relatively rare for me and only lasts a short time, but they remind me of how unimportant (or maybe very important) other battles have been–not in the fighting, of course, but in the experiences around them.
Continue reading Wartime Bad, Peace Good
Never Underestimate the Power of a Good Title
So I have been ruminating on the title of my future memoir. The one I’ll be writing about this experience with cancer once it has run its course. Or rather, once its course has been run. I come solidly from the camp that appreciates having the title up front. Not that I’m opposed to changing it once the work has been completed, mind you. But I like to start every work with a few solid words that guide its development. The title, to me, sets the tone and theme and gets the ball rolling. Until that ball hits a wall or gets stuck in a corner or something, and then the title can be chucked right out and replaced. But still…
Continue reading Never Underestimate the Power of a Good Title
Pain Is Bad For You, But It Is Better Than Malaise
When I woke up this morning, one of the first things I noticed was that laughing was painful. It wasn’t much of a surprise, as I had an incision at the base of my neck just at the bone, where tubes had been stuffed under the skin yesterday. And I had also had a bronchioscopy, so my throat was expected to be sore. But the grogginess and woozy feeling of the previous evening was thankfully gone.
Day after lymph node biopsy: http://youtu.be/ZbiCjcuTBh0
Continue reading Pain Is Bad For You, But It Is Better Than Malaise
Denial Is a Dirty Word (and just bad for you)
People have been talking to me a lot lately (and not surprisingly) about the power of positive thinking. These tidbits of wisdom have come from medical professionals and laymen alike. And it is true, positive thinking is quite useful. On the other hand, it does not mean ignoring the facts or believing that everything will work out without taking appropriate action. Without a hefty dose of pragmatism in the mix, putting on a sunny face and ignoring the reality of a situation is just another form of denial, and denial leads down a dark and dangerous road.
Continue reading Denial Is a Dirty Word (and just bad for you)
Going In: Better To Go Facing Forward
Today will be my second biopsy. This one, targeting soft tissue which can hopefully be used to extrude good DNA samples of the nefarious cells, will involve the removal of a lymph node from the side of my esophagus. It is a fairly routine, minor surgery, and I am excited to get it taken care of.
It also means that I get to pause with the tests for a while! And though I might miss getting that peek inside from each new scan, I am sure that I will have plenty of more opportunist in the near future. So I’ve got that going for me.
Continue reading Going In: Better To Go Facing Forward
Getting from Point A to Point B, More Fun than Being Stuck at A
There is a lot to be said for knowing where you are going. And even if you can’t know the destination, at least knowing the path you are on.
When I first began wondering what was going on with my health, I suspected that I was merely dealing with fallout from a steroid treatment that I had taken for a shoulder injury. The steroids had left me wiped out and susceptible to whatever viruses my daughter was bringing home from school…and I spent several weeks fighting off whatever respiratory illness had dripped in my lap. Once the “colds” began clearing up, I had a few small infections that seemed to persist in my nose and finger. At that point, no one suspected that the nose infection was actually a weird little ingrown hair, but I was getting more concerned that the shortness of breath I had begun to experience was a result of walking pneumonia. The initial diagnosis was a probable systemic staph infection, but I was sent for a chest X-ray just to be on the safe side.
And that was when I suddenly no longer had an obvious path.
The X-ray identified a 3cm mass
Continue reading Getting from Point A to Point B, More Fun than Being Stuck at A