Going into the final round of what I term Phase One of my treatment, I am reflecting a bit on two coincidences that have given me plenty to ruminate on. One of these is the fact that of one of my high school friends who I have not seen in far too many years informed me recently that her spouse is also going through chemotherapy and, interestingly, was just about a week ahead of me in the treatment schedule. The other coincidence of merit this week is that my neighbor will be starting her own chemo treatments at the same time I go in to complete my initial run of this badass toxic cocktail before moving toward a kinder and gentler maintenance schedule.
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Neither of these coincidentally timed treatments are for the same cancer, which would have been too weird for believability anyway, and we probably won’t share identical side effects across the board or react too similarly to the drugs, but there is still a commonality of experience that cannot be denied. My friend from high school is one of those rare and thoughtful people who is cursed with the right balance of kindness and patience to really place herself in the center of care giving. It feels weird saying this, but I would not wish that upon anyone, as great a gift as it is. This goes back to my issue with patient guilt, perhaps; I feel lacking when I cannot help those suffering worse than me or I feel guilty about not suffering as much as them, and this extrapolates to me not wanting others to suffer as a result of my condition or being forced to take care of me. Continue reading The Chemo Diaries Round Six: Cycles End, Cycles Begin