There is room for a great social media app here, so officially I’m announcing “Infusions With Friends” — everyone needs a game to play while they’re stuck in treatment and when you begin to realize how many people are not only going through chemotherapy at the same time as you, but often having their treatment on the same day, it just makes sense that we ought to be able to hook up and make a game out of it. And if for whatever reason, one or another of us cannot join in the treatment fun as scheduled, it still is nice to have a way to feel inclusive and play along from home.

When I got up this morning, I anticipated that two of my friends were likely to be “joining” me in chemo today — one from a a state to the north, one well to the east. It felt good, like there was some camaraderie there, full of mutual encouragement and good times, opportunities to share the view on Facebook or comment on how the mornings were spent with family before going in. And I usually find room for a few jokes around a “cocktail” theme or to comment on the need for better spa services. Sure, my material is starting to wear a little thin, which is all the more reason to get an appropriate app to market quickly. And the play at home feature would have been especially useful for me today, as I discovered that neither of my friends would be joining in from their respective clinics. One was simply a scheduling difference — she goes in tomorrow. The other had some issues with his bloodwork; last week when the same issue prevented his treatment, I thought he had simply lucked out with a week-long vacation from treatment, and I was secretly excited to get him on my schedule because I’m selfish and bored sometimes. So here I was this morning, luxuriously relaxing in my heated, vibrating lounge chair, feeling vaguely lonely in spite of the cheerful nurses and their needles.

Support is an important issue when undergoing treatment. Moods tend to run all over the topographic map of our emotions, often digging into the gloomiest of deep muck  instead of seeking out the joyful peaks. Part of this is because hiking a mountain, however metaphorical, is difficult work. And while some of us are in this for a very long haul, others are on limited regimens that are designed for maximum efficacy. Either way, keeping with the treatment can be just plain hard and, when faced with the daunting choice of going in for the next round (it is, after all, always a choice to continue), sometimes we all think that maybe it would just be better to stop putting ourselves through this…

And our friends who are not in treatment may not fully understand that this emotional tug of war is, at least in part, a byproduct of the drugs themselves. Chemo affects our emotions, our reasoning, sometimes even our ability to formulate coherent thoughts. It isn’t the same for everyone, just like the side effects one patient experiences are not going to be precisely the same as those of another patient. And all of this makes it too simple for a friend to “support your decision” about whether you are going to keep at this or that protocol. Connecting with others having similar experiences may also be a double-edged sword, especially if the gang is all in for the negativity when they hook up. But I don’t think that is likely to be the case, because chemotherapy brings out the resolve in lots of patients, and the experience, however physically or emotionally challenging, helps some people rise to their best selves. I’m working on it — not quite there yet — but I have terrific role models all around me and I’m finding more all the time. They remind me of why I want to keep going if I ever have doubts. They show me the potential good of what I am doing so my eyes are on the prize, not stuck gazing down there in the muck with my broken shovel.

So yes, I want to get this Infusions With Friends app off the ground. I want to connect patients with one another in a fun way that allows them to share experiences, chat in real time and simply have fun together in an environment that puts some whimsy and joy back into the cancer discussion. If you have suggestions for features you’d like to see, please put them in the comment box below. It’s going to take a long time to put this together, so even if you come to this post years after it is written, go ahead and make more suggestions and maybe they’ll make it into the next version — but if the app is already out, try it first and see what can be done to make it better! Your help is always needed, because Cancer is a social experience.

And now, for those of us who have to put our lives into perspective, this video might help get us out of our respective boxes. When I have to describe how my life has changed as a result of lung cancer and having to continue indefinitely on a three week cycle of chemotherapy, I usually frame it in a discussion of acceptance that life continues and we have to be able to move past whatever roadblocks we encounter, no matter what our condition. Life is all about adaptation and momentum; we embrace whatever challenge is in our way and move forward. That is living. And this guy is a prime example of how we keep that momentum going. Enjoy.

https://youtu.be/H9S3n_tILKo