I am a 46 year old white man with stage 4 lung cancer, but at least I’m not a young, unarmed black man minding his own business in a public space. That is my takeaway from the last quarter of 2014. Privilege certainly exists in present day America and a huge part of that privilege is not having to fear for one’s life when going out for something as simple as a cup of coffee (more accurately, a latte or cappuccino) or a vial of perfectly legal medical marijuana.

Okay, maybe it is more complicated than that, because, yes, other factors influence level of privilege. Regardless of skin pigment or age, location plays a large part. As does affluence, especially in terms of appearance, as in how affluent one looks. It isn’t just about the money or power one truly wields, after all; it is how wealthy or influential one looks that matters. I have charm going for me, but charm only can open a few initial doors and it won’t protect someone in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Another key indicator of my privilege is that my opening paragraph is only partly ironic. Because I have access to cutting edge health care, with doctors and nurses who appear to take an actual, vested interest in me, I do not have to carry fear around with me as a part of my daily existence. And because I do not have to carry around that fear, I am able to deal with things like explaining to my 8 year old daughter, as I did this evening, that I have cancer — in such a way as to not freak her out and allow her to continue feeling safe.

The feeling of security that I want my blonde haired, blue eyed girl to grow up with should not be simply a matter of privilege. It should be the norm, for everyone. The dis-ease that I feel knowing so many people in this country, not to mention across the globe, are under enormous stress just trying to lead “normal” lives without being accosted by the authorities is in many ways much worse than the cancer growing within the confines of my own body. Part of that is because I am confident I will be able to benefit from the gifts science has created and being in the right place at the right time has allowed me to get into the system best suited for controlling my own particular cancer. But the issues or society faces is like a cancer we all thought had been cured long ago only to find out it had not even really gone into remission. It has just been festering all this time.

Even worse than that, I know something very true about privilege: it is fickle.