Sometimes, self-care comes down to maintaining your own emotional health. And this is not always an easy thing to do. But if we do not work on it, keeping track of our own ups and downs, it can become too easy to get lost in a sea of anxiety and depression, carried along on waves of ennui and eventually drown out in the doldrums.
For the past seven weeks, I have been living in the midst of a clinical trial for poziotinib, a highly promising (and so far apparently quite successful) targeted cancer drug. But as with all clinical trials, there are areas of uncertainty in the treatment process, particularly with regard to side-effects and tolerance.
There have been a number of days where I have questioned whether I could keep going on with this drug — but I had vowed to see it through to my first scan at four weeks, no matter what. That scan showed a dramatic reduction in my tumor load, convincing me that another four weeks at the same dose was worth trudging through, no matter how thick and deep the gunk. But in spite of my optimism and the addition of antibiotics and antihistamines to the mix of my daily drug regimen, the primary side-effect — my full-body rash — has continued to get worse. Continue reading Self-Care Challenge #4: Keeping It Together